The GO Summer Movie Preview

There are scores of movies headed for theaters this summer. Here are several that tickled our fancy.

(page 1 of 3)

photo David James "I'm getting too old for this crap."

To be honest, we’re not wild about going to movies on first dates. Best case scenario, you get to be handsy in an almost-empty theatre; worst case scenario you simply thank the baby Jesus you don’t have to talk to him/her for two glorious hours. Either way, it has nothing to do with the movie.

That said, this is Springfield. You’re going to have to catch a flick at some point in your relationship, probably sooner than later. With that in mind, here are a few of our top choices for cinematic pleasure over the next few months.

You kids have fun!

May 2

Iron Man
Why go: Robert Downey Jr. The previews look dope.
Why not: Who the hell is Iron Man?
Perfect for: The couple that has everything except a bomb-proof red-and-yellow suit.

May 9

Speed Racer
Why go: The Wachowski brothers make shi* go boom real good.
Why not: Christina Ricci already looks enough like a cartoon.
Perfect for: Couples headed to a rave later.

May 16

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Why go: The books actually stared to get good at this point.
Why not: You only like to get preached at on Sunday.
Perfect for: Couples who feel guilty for sleeping through church.

May 22

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Why go: Um, it’s only Indiana Freaking Jones.
Why not: Guys, you shouldn’t let girls see you geek out too hard, at least until you’re married.
Perfect for: Single guys; girls who will do absolutely anything to get laid.

May 30

Sex and the City: The Movie
Why go: Lots of sex (presumably). And cities.
Why not: Ladies, you shouldn’t let the guys see you geek out too hard, at least until you’re married.
Perfect for: Single girls; guys who will do absolutely anything to get laid.