Get The Summer Scoop

Whether it’s feeding man-eating sharks, getting your boating license or finding the best place to buy a bikini (or watch ladies strut around in them), take GO’s advice for having tons of fun this summer.

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Q. Are there any local treat-type places that only open during the summer? I’ve already tried everything at Andy’s.

Why, yes, there are. Pineapple Whip stands—the little yellow trailers with unreasonably mesmerizing mechanical hula girls on top—are perhaps the most iconic of summertime Springfield symbols, and even though there hasn’t been one near the mall for several years (as if anyone parks near Hobby Lobby for any other reason), there are two locations to serve your creamy-yet-tangy desires. Owner Mike Fortner says there is already a stand open at the intersection of Republic Road and Fremont Avenue, just across the street from Argentina Steak House. Fortner says a second location will soon open near the intersection of Kansas Expressway and Kearney Street— near the Council of the Blind Thrift Store—if it hasn’t opened already. Another recommendation, this one from art director Kari Engel, is Sheri’s Sno-Cones, a classical shave-ice stand with a zillion flavors, located in the parking lot near the big post office on South Glenstone.

Q. My wife’s extended family is coming into town for a weekend, and they want to see Branson. Since I’m a local, it’s my job to plan two days of fun. Where the hell do I take them?

The obvious response to this question is Branson Landing, and you really can’t go wrong. Easily impressed family members will gawk at the fountain and the hard-to-impress will enjoy the swankier retail shops, the new Bar Louie and the food at Candlestick Inn, just across the lake.

If it’s a show they want, you’ll have to grit your teeth and deliver: Assuming it’s not around the time of one of the “bigger” Grand Palace shows like Taylor Hicks or Jeff Foxworthy, we recommend either Legends in Concert (legendsinconcert.com), because impersonators are always cool, or Andy Williams (andywilliams.com)—dude may look at his shoes non-stop, but he can still sing, and we hear his new restaurant, The Moon River Grill, is great. Want to score points with your father-in-law? See Andy soon—Charo stops shaking her breasts in people’s faces after June 16. Born-again in-laws will love The Promise (How’d they get the camel in the theatre? It’s crazy!) or the Jim Bakker Show (jimbakkershow.com).

Q. Like most girls, I HATE trying on swimsuits. But it is a necessary evil. Where do you suggest buying one?

Unless you go to Target (which most women we talk to swear by), you’re probably going to want some personal service and, most importantly, individuality. In that case check out H20 Swimwear. It’s located at Kokomo Tan & Travel (1451 E. Cherry St., 417-882-1116) and features hundreds of swimsuits imported from places more swimsuit-savvy than the Midwest. One of H20’s lines is Vitamin A swimsuits, which owner Rene Bass says was recently featured in People Style magazine. H20 also has lines from Hawaii, Peru, Australia, and Brazil in a very non-Target price range of anywhere from $60 to upwards of $200. Sure you pay a bit more, but a woman’s sanity is worth it, right ladies? Another non-department store option would be The Ski Shack (5539 S. Campbell Ave., 417-882-8480.)

Q. What’s an under-the-radar place to have fun in the Ozarks this summer?

We remember the Branson West (previously Lakeview) of our childhood as a sleepy stop between Reeds Spring and Kimberling City. There was a McDonalds, a grasshopper-infested water slide and a big Silver Dollar City “Turn Here” sign—that’s about it. Now Branson West is a destination in and of itself, with not-so-Branson attractions. For example: Haunted Adventure (417-272-0411, thehauntedadventure.com) and Predator World Zoo & Aquarium (417-272-0251, predatorworld.com), which share a complex just two miles south of where Hwy. 13 meets 76 (that’s where the Silver Dollar City sign is.) Haunted Adventure is a year-round, big-budget spookhouse featuring animatronics and live actors (Who do you hire who’s willing to run around in a goblin mask in the middle of summer, we wonder?) At Predator World Zoo & Aquarium you can see all sorts of frightening beasts, like sharks, tigers and poisonous snakes. Admission to both (not combined) is $11.95 for adults and $8.95 for kids three through 12. And don’t worry, the McDonald’s is still there.

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