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CommentsThe IV Super Bowl Sins
The big game is more fun if you’re not supposed to be enjoying it
Evan Fisk
Logos courtesy nflmedia.com
Bobby Boucher’s mama was right in The Waterboy; “Foosball is the devil!” Why not embrace it? Think of this year’s Super Bowl as a dress rehearsal for Mardi Gras and see how many deadly sins you can cross off your list. Here are a few suggestions:
Gluttony: Play the official GO Magazine drinking game while inhaling a bag of pork rinds. Example: “Take one drink any time an announcer makes an inadvertent sexual innuendo. (example: “He came quick from behind on that play.”) Click here to download the official GO Magazine Super Bowl XLI drinking game.
Greed: It’s not (quite) as popular as March Madness bracket pools, but betting on the big game is fun for different reasons, like the obscurity of the bets. You can play it safe by betting on the final outcome of the game—the line has the Colts by seven points at press time—or go crazy betting on Peyton Manning’s passing yards (over/under: 273.5), Thomas Jones’ rushing attempts (over/under: 18) and whether or not the number of touchdowns thrown by Rex Grossman will be higher than the number of John Mayer’s Grammy wins. Visit bodog.com for the complete rundown of bets. Or, if you feel like getting away for the weekend, a single round-trip ticket from Springfield to Las Vegas was only $368.30 round trip on allegiantair.com.
Sloth: Sure, sloth is bad and all, but not having a DVR (Digital Video Recorder) would be a real sin. If you’re a sports fan, the Super Bowl can be tough on your bladder. You don’t want to miss any of the action, but you also want to see the ridiculously expensive—and usually disappointing—Super Bowl commercials. DVR is the answer. You can pause the action at any moment for impromptu bathroom breaks, and rewind big plays, like Manning’s fourth interception of the game. Mediacom cable subscribers can get the service for $5.95 a month. Get details at mediacomcable.com.
Lust: After Janet Jackson’s boob-flashing performance, the odds of another halftime wardrobe malfunction are slim to none. Plus this year’s entertainer is the now-religious Prince, so there won’t be much to see. (Prince’s assless pants performance from MTV is on YouTube, if you’re into that sort of thing.) You might just want to skip lust on Sunday. Or at least wait until after the game.
Yes, we left anger, envy and pride off the list, but those are the annoying sins anyway, and better left to the HGH-fueled athletes on the field. If you can think of some appropriate way to use those sins to your advantage without pissing off all your friends, let us know.
Check our blog at springfieldgo.com on Friday for Super Bowl celebrations at local bars and clubs.
Gluttony: Play the official GO Magazine drinking game while inhaling a bag of pork rinds. Example: “Take one drink any time an announcer makes an inadvertent sexual innuendo. (example: “He came quick from behind on that play.”) Click here to download the official GO Magazine Super Bowl XLI drinking game.
Greed: It’s not (quite) as popular as March Madness bracket pools, but betting on the big game is fun for different reasons, like the obscurity of the bets. You can play it safe by betting on the final outcome of the game—the line has the Colts by seven points at press time—or go crazy betting on Peyton Manning’s passing yards (over/under: 273.5), Thomas Jones’ rushing attempts (over/under: 18) and whether or not the number of touchdowns thrown by Rex Grossman will be higher than the number of John Mayer’s Grammy wins. Visit bodog.com for the complete rundown of bets. Or, if you feel like getting away for the weekend, a single round-trip ticket from Springfield to Las Vegas was only $368.30 round trip on allegiantair.com.
Sloth: Sure, sloth is bad and all, but not having a DVR (Digital Video Recorder) would be a real sin. If you’re a sports fan, the Super Bowl can be tough on your bladder. You don’t want to miss any of the action, but you also want to see the ridiculously expensive—and usually disappointing—Super Bowl commercials. DVR is the answer. You can pause the action at any moment for impromptu bathroom breaks, and rewind big plays, like Manning’s fourth interception of the game. Mediacom cable subscribers can get the service for $5.95 a month. Get details at mediacomcable.com.
Lust: After Janet Jackson’s boob-flashing performance, the odds of another halftime wardrobe malfunction are slim to none. Plus this year’s entertainer is the now-religious Prince, so there won’t be much to see. (Prince’s assless pants performance from MTV is on YouTube, if you’re into that sort of thing.) You might just want to skip lust on Sunday. Or at least wait until after the game.
Yes, we left anger, envy and pride off the list, but those are the annoying sins anyway, and better left to the HGH-fueled athletes on the field. If you can think of some appropriate way to use those sins to your advantage without pissing off all your friends, let us know.
Check our blog at springfieldgo.com on Friday for Super Bowl celebrations at local bars and clubs.
